64 starters, 8 themes

What to talk about

Finding somebody is the easy part. These prompts are written for the harder half: having something to say that a person in another country can actually answer from their own life.

Today’s conversation starter

Take it into a call and see where it goes. Every prompt in the library is written to be answerable by somebody anywhere in the world, with no shared context needed.

Culture and daily life

The ordinary details that never make it into travel writing: what a normal Tuesday looks like, what people argue about, what everyone takes for granted.

  • What part of everyday life in your country would surprise a visitor most?
  • What does a typical evening look like where you live, and who is usually around?
  • What is something people in your country complain about constantly but never actually fix?
  • Which holiday matters most where you are from, and what do you actually do that day?
  • What is a small daily habit you have that you suspect is unusual elsewhere?
  • What do outsiders get wrong about your country that you wish you could correct?
  • How do neighbours treat each other where you grew up, and has that changed?
  • What is something your grandparents did that has almost disappeared now?

Work, tech and startups

For developers, designers and founders comparing notes across markets. Specific enough that two engineers from different countries find something real to disagree about.

  • What is the most overrated technology you have worked with, and why?
  • How is the way your team ships software different from the last place you worked?
  • What did you learn the hard way that no course would have taught you?
  • Which part of your job do you think will look strange in ten years?
  • What is a tool you would pay for happily, and one you would never pay for?
  • How do people in your country usually get their first job in tech?
  • What is something you built that failed, and what did it teach you?
  • Is remote work genuinely changing your city, or is that exaggerated?

Travel and other places

Ask somebody who lives there. Concrete questions about places you are actually thinking of going, rather than postcard descriptions.

  • What should a first-time visitor skip in your city, even though it is famous?
  • What is the one neighbourhood you would tell a friend to stay in, and why?
  • How much should a visitor expect to spend on a normal day where you live?
  • What is the food that locals eat that never appears on restaurant menus?
  • What is genuinely rude where you live, in a way a visitor would not guess?
  • Which month should somebody visit, and which month should they definitely avoid?
  • How do people get around day to day, and what should a visitor not bother learning?
  • What is a place near you that only locals know about?

Language and words

Language is the thing every user of this site already has in common, and it is endlessly arguable. Good for people practising, good for people who are not.

  • What word in your language has no good translation, and what does it roughly mean?
  • What is a phrase in your language that sounds rude translated literally?
  • Which language sounds beautiful to you even though you understand none of it?
  • What is the strangest rule in your language, and do native speakers even follow it?
  • What was the hardest thing about learning English, if you did?
  • How is politeness expressed in your language - formally or through tone?
  • Which words do young people use where you live that older people hate?
  • What language would you learn next if time and money were not a problem?

Films, music and stories

The safest possible opening that is still interesting, because everybody has taste and everybody enjoys defending it. Ask for a specific recommendation, not a favourite.

  • What film or show from your country should everyone else watch, and why that one?
  • What is a song you have listened to far too many times without getting tired of it?
  • Which book changed how you think, rather than just being enjoyable?
  • What is a piece of entertainment your country is genuinely famous for, and is it deserved?
  • What is the last thing you watched that you could not stop thinking about?
  • Which actor or musician from your country deserves a much bigger audience abroad?
  • What is a genre you used to hate and eventually came around to?
  • What is something you loved as a child and find embarrassing now?

Food and cooking

Comfortably the easiest thing to talk about across cultures, and it reveals more about daily life than most people expect.

  • What is the meal you make when you cannot be bothered, and what is in it?
  • What dish from your country do foreigners always get wrong?
  • What is something you eat that visitors find shocking, and why do you like it?
  • What is the one ingredient you would struggle to live without?
  • How did you learn to cook, and from whom?
  • What is the best thing you have eaten that you did not pay for?
  • What does a celebration meal look like where you are from?
  • Is there a food you disliked for years and now genuinely love?

Questions worth arguing about

Light arguments, not heavy ones. The point is a conversation with some shape to it, and everyone can leave still liking each other.

  • What is something most people believe that you think is simply wrong?
  • What is the last thing that genuinely changed your mind, and what changed it?
  • Is it better to be extremely good at one thing or decent at several?
  • Should people know how their country is run in detail, or is that unrealistic?
  • What is a modern convenience you think has made life worse?
  • If you could fix one thing about the internet permanently, what would it be?
  • Do you think luck or effort explains most outcomes, honestly?
  • What advice do people give constantly that you think is bad advice?

Everyday life and getting on with people

The human end of the app. These are the prompts that turn a stranger into somebody you talk to again next week.

  • How did you meet the people you would call your closest friends?
  • What is something you are looking forward to in the next few months?
  • What does a good day look like for you at the moment?
  • What is a skill you picked up later in life than you expected to?
  • Who has had the biggest influence on how you think, and how?
  • What is something small that reliably cheers you up?
  • What is the best decision you made that looked like a bad one at the time?
  • What do you wish you had more time for?

How to use these

Take one, not five

Treating the list as an interview script is the fastest way to make a conversation feel like a survey. Pick one, and let the answer decide what you ask next.

Answer it yourself too

An exchange, not an interview. If you ask about everyday life where they live, say what it looks like where you are. That is the part most people find interesting.

Swap the theme if it stalls

Some prompts land and some do not, and that says nothing about either person. Move to a different theme rather than pushing a question that has already gone flat.

Frequently Asked Questions

What do you say to somebody you have just met online?

Ask something specific enough to answer properly. "What part of everyday life where you live would surprise a visitor?" works between two strangers because it needs local knowledge only that person has. "How are you?" does not, because both people already know the answer.

How do you keep a conversation going after the first question?

Follow the detail rather than the topic. If they mention a market near their flat, ask what they buy there. Most conversations die because the second question is another opener instead of a response to what was actually said.

What should you avoid asking someone from another country?

Anything that treats them as a representative of a whole country - "why do people there do X?" puts one person in the position of defending millions. Ask about their own life and you get a real answer.

Are these conversation starters free to use?

Yes. The whole library is readable here without an account, and you can use the prompts anywhere - a call on SpeakMotive, a class, a language exchange, or a group of strangers who have run out of things to say.

Now go and use one

Open a voice or video room, pick a prompt, and see where the conversation goes.

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